Tereza Hakobyan-Lolli - Interview

Two films that have marked your life for better or for worse…

"The Secret" and "Unbroken" 

What do you think about Acting/ filmmaking schools?

I think training is absolutely important to grow your skills, build relationships in the industry and build a strong foundation.  

Have you ever hated your ambition?

Never. I refuse to use the H word in any circumstance.  My ambition is my muse and I can realise my purpose in life because I am ambitious. It's one of the most important things to have. 

Francois Truffaut used to think that "Film Lovers are sick people”… was he right?

Depends on what type of film lovers. People who only like to watch violent films or horror films, there may be some trauma from childhood that is affecting their need to be in constant hightenent state of cortisol. There are many educational films, historic films, beautiful love story films, incredible mindset shifting films that are very ok to watch and most people actually do take a lot out of those films. The people who actually are able to take greatness from films and implement it in their lives, are very healthy minded people. 

Close your eyes…if I say “Cinema” what do you see?

Titanic haha 

Who’s the Director\Actor\Writer that taught you the most?

Natalie Portman and Anthony Lolli

About your job, tell us your biggest dream and your worst nightmare…

Biggest career dream is to produce an Oscar winning film starring my children Love and Legend directed by my husband Anthony Lolli. My main biggest dream is to help Armenia recover its land and unite the Kingdom of Armenia that used to exist centuries ago. My biggest nightmare is what is going on in Armenia right now, the attacks from Azerbaijan, the heartless killings of civilians, children and elderly. My biggest nightmare is watching the US government and the UN do absolutely nothing to interfere and use sanctions against Azerbaijan aggression. 

How important is to have a good Cinematographic Culture?

Cinematography is the film's gut microbiome.  It's everything.

 What would you like to improve as a Filmmaker\Actor\Writer?

I would love to continue to grow, learn and master filmmaking.  

 A big producer give you the chance to direct\to play (in) the remake of one of your favorite black and white Movie (if you have one)… what film do you choose?

I would remake "Home Alone" starring my children Love and Legend who would play the most advanced futuristic and tech savvy kids, outsmarting the villains.

 Film Industry it’s a tough place and sometimes is normal to feel lost and discouraged… who’s the person that keeps you motivated?

My husband Anthony Lolli. 

 Alfred Hitchcock said: "To make a good film you need 3 things: The script, the script and the script".  Do you agree with him?

Of course the script is the bloodline of the film. But before a script must come the outrageous drive and vision of where you want that film to go, so you can adjust the script to that vision

What’s your most ambitious project for the future?

"Diamond Dog" is the next blockbuster childrens' action comedy film that I'm going to tackle in 2024.

Do you think that sadness or at least melancholy let be more creative?

Absolutely.  

What do you wish to yourself as a Filmmaker\Actor \Writer?

Funding:

What really excites you artistically or emotionally?

It excites me to just be creative and basically go from nothing to creating a

compelling story which you always hope will be picked up to become a film. But

the highest point is when you are watching a film on the big screen and see the

characters that you have created speak the words that you have written. It is

almost surreal. Then to top that you see your name in the credits for the film.

There is no greater high in my opinion.

Marlon Brando said “Never confuse the size of your Paycheck with the size of your talent”. Do you agree?

Absolutely, when you become focused on only what you will earn you lose in my

opinion that winning edge. I feel you can always tell in films if the screenplay or

acting has been forced usually by money. We must always be true to our craft

and not lose focus.

Have you ever been discouraged by someone about your life\career choices?

Absolutely, when I first decided to move from the Mid-West to Los Angeles to get

into the entertainment business both family and friends tried to discourage me. I was already established in another career and when that had ended, I felt now it was time to do what I felt passionate about. This discouragement only made me work harder.

Do you think is harder for a woman being a Filmmaker?

At one time in the past yes, but today I believe it is truly open if you have the

talent. Women I believe have become more independent and driven probably in

the past 20-30 years. Some women I know even started their own production

companies when they have hit brick walls and it is a good thing to see them

succeed.

Do you think that Fame and money could easily change your own Vision as a

Filmmaker\actor\screenplayer?

I don’t really think so, I have the same values and visions that I did when I was

young. I think some people mistake Fame with Respect in this business and I

wanted to be respected for what I do. Fame is fleeting where Respect goes on in

peoples minds.

Who’s the Movie star that made you dream for the first time?

I have to say as a child it was John Wayne, I always wanted to act like he did even knowing that I wasn’t in the same league as he was. But as I got older I realized that I just needed to form my own style based somewhat on multiple actors that I had admired.

Make a wish about your career... talking about cinema\Showbusiness, how hard is to remain completly honest to yourself as an artist?

I really wish that I can keep expanding and improving in this career. On every

project and every encounter, I always learn something new and I feel by doing

that you always remain humble and true to yourself and those who believe in your abilities. The minute it becomes about you and not the craft is the moment I feel that you start failing.

The Film you have loved the most?

This is a really hard one, but I really love the classics in which an actor had to

demonstrate many facets of a character without any type of special effect

assistance. One in which the director and the director of photography worked

together on a vision together to create a masterpiece. For me it would be Alfred

Hitchcock’s “North by Northwest” with Cary Grant.

And now, don’t be shy…. the one that annoyed you the most?

This is equally as hard because in my estimation there have been a number in the past decade. But one was one a director friend of mine and I went to do a

prerelease screening in Hollywood at Lionsgate Studio’s called “Air Raid” with

Bruce Willis. As the film played the room was silent and when it ended everyone

left quietly. In talking to my friend, we both said it was the worst script, dialog,

special effects, cinematography and acting.

Your biggest artistic goal is… 

My biggest artistic goal is to create a film that is well liked and moving to the

public.

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

 As for other professions, this is my last career because I have done so

much in my life, I have been a soldier, police officer, firefighter, cowboy, aviation, and a few other things. I have been blessed to have the opportunities that I have had, and I draw on those experiences to put into my scripts.

How important is to be rewarded as an Artist?

I feel it is very important to be recognized for my work, but I don’t think it is

beneficial to just receive an award for doing something. I want to earn everything I get and peer or fan awards to me are the best and truly mean something to me.

Do you have regrets?

My only regret is that I haven’t started earlier on this journey because I feel I have so much more to do and so few years to do it in.

What’s the message you wanna express through your art?

If this is what you want to do be consistent, persistent but not annoying, network, stay humble, and honest. Always convey that it is about the project and not you. If you keep that in mind, you will be noticed and recognized. It doesn’t happen overnight, so you do need to be persistent in perfecting your craft.

Who's your biggest fan?

Not for me to say, I'm afraid...

What brings you inspiration the most?

Life; nature; man kind's lack of appreciation and understanding of caring for and about our planet makes me need to create Art that matters.

Which actor or director would you like to work with?

Anyone who wants, and who is willing to join me on the journey.

Have you ever seen a film that was better than the book?

Reading the book first and then seeing the film afterwards is probably seldom going to benefit the film. It depends on the mind that is 

reading the book, I suppose, but in my case, I find the film- if I enjoyed the book- always struggling to keep up.

What's the movie that taught you the most?

There are many beautiful moments. I always tend to appreciate attempts for a poetic picture. Tarkovsky's The Mirror comes to mind.

About your artistic career, have you ever had the desire to quit everything?

No, not really, at least not for more than a day at a time...After a night's sleep i tend to start digging again.

On set what excites you the most?

The excitement in its highest degree establishes itself for me when I'm allowed to pursue a deeper artistic line. There are so many factors on set however, that challenges this dream-like state of mind.

And what scares you the most ?

Unfortunately, I am generally scared...

Keeping the budget maybe could be an answer. My budgets are so low though, there is nothing to keep :)

What's your next project?

Some Shorts eagerly await coming to life. In addition I'm working on a dark comedy.

You can steal the career of an artist you really admire, who do you choose?

Jon Fosse would be a good one at the moment with the recent Nobel Price.

He keeps the flag high for "Nynorsk" (New Norwegian) which is a passion of mine.

An actor/ director/ screen-player is made of....

...flesh and blood...

For you Cinema is....

...when at its best, the strongest Art Form.

Do you think Black and white movies have a powerful impact?

Definitely yes! In some cases it outscores color by far.

Have you ever dreamed of winning an Oscar?

No.

Do you think you're gonna win it?

It doesn't occupy even the tiniest part of my brain to think about it.

Who's your biggest fan?

My younger sister is not only my biggest fan. She is also a very talented voice-over artist and provides fantastic voices for my animations. I always get the FAMILY RATE when I hire her.

What brings you inspiration the most?

I dream my films in their entirety. When I have dreamt a story more than once, I get up and make enough notes to remember it for later. Eight, Freedumb and Last Sunrise were all repetitive dreams that became films.

Which actor or director would you like to work with?

I worked with Steven Bauer on the 2009 film - Hitman Diaries - Charlie Valentine. I always liked Steven Bauer - Scarface, Ray Donovan. In Hitman Diaries, I was playing a member of James Russo’s gang. The Director, Jesse Johnson noticed that Steven Bauer and I were built exactly alike. Steven Bauer refuses to fire a weapon on a movie set. I, on the other hand, had been certified in on-set weaponry for many years. In the series Jericho, I was firing automatic weapons every day. I became Steven Bauer’s GUN DOUBLE in Hitman Diaries.

Have you ever seen a film that was better than the book?

Yes, The 1972 film by Woody Allen - Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To Ask.

What's the movie that taught you the most?

The 1973 release of Executive Action affirms ten years after the fact, that President John F. Kennedy WAS killed by the American Government and sundry members of Organized Crime.

About your artistic career, have you ever had the desire to quit everything?

Balance is the key to everything we will encounter during our time on this planet. I haven’t always played a LONG GAME in my approach to getting things done. I certainly do now. Instead of quitting, I just diverge into another form of creativity. In 2010, I had lost my job at ABC / DISNEY and didn’t really have a direction for financial survival. I took a vacation to Fairbanks, Alaska. There I visited the Arctic Circle nightly and captured stunning imagery of the Aurora Borealis. My photos were published Internationally and I discovered an emotional springboard within myself to carry on.

On set what excites you the most?

When I am shooting an animation sequence, it requires ALL of my concentration. I have to guesstimate how many frames it will take to complete a line of dialogue and if the character is walking and talking the estimation factor triples. After a 12 hour frame by frame shooting session, I usually have a good idea if I am successful or not. When I look at the clock and twelve hours has passed and it seems like two hours…the feeling of being teleported through time overwhelms me. THAT is exciting.

And what scares you the most ?

Being beaten to death during a home invasion. On my 21st birthday, three thugs kicked my front door in, drug me into my living room and beat me almost to death. I swore that would never happen again and bought some guns.

What's your next project?

Currently in production, Dogma is the title of my next project. The story is inspired by the Anatole France novel - The Revolt Of The Angels.

You can steal the career of an artist you really admire, who do you choose?

Aesop’s Fable, The Old Man and Death teaches us…”Be Careful What You Wish For.” It is my favorite literary lesson due to its simplicity. When we see a successful artist thriving, as observers, we have no idea what is really happening in their lives. I have had the honor to work with many successful people and what always amazes me is how much suffering is going on behind the scenes (so to speak). So, in my mind, STEALING the career of another could very possibly mean INHERITING all of their strife as well. 

I’ll stick with my career and my struggles. My plate is already full, thank-you.

An actor/director/screenplayer is made of....

A human being who has lived life through the best and worst of times.

For you Cinema is....

In 1990 I was running camera for a PBS documentary titled Vietnam Today. We were shooting on a tight schedule and covering the entire country in fourteen days. Most of our travel was by bus. Just like the U-2 song says (“where the streets have no names”). In eastern Vietnam, outside of Da Nang, there were people cooking their meals over open fire pits. No toilets. It was eye-opening to visit a place on this planet where people were forced to live like this in 1990!  Cinema is a powerful tool that can shock you, make you laugh and cry. Cinema can anger you and make you see things in a new or different light. If executed correctly, cinema is the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly.

Do you think Black and White movies have a powerful impact?

I think Black and White imagery is used too much in modern film as a way to express memories or alternate points of view. A standalone Black and White film is powerful because we are not overwhelmed by the awe of color and clarity. We are witnessing a stark expose of subject.

Have you ever dreamed of winning an Oscar?

In 2009, I found myself lighting Elizabeth Taylor interviews. Her interviews were always done at her home in Bel Air. Bedridden with scoliosis, her assistants would carry her down from the second floor in her wheelchair and place her on her mark. Elizabeth was always cheery and very friendly. At 77, she looked great. I consider her the most famous actress in the history of film. Throughout her entire career she was awarded two Oscars. 

I have never dreamed of winning an Oscar. I dream storylines. 

During one session with Elizabeth she looked over at me and said, “pssst, what are you doing?” I said, “waiting on you young lady.” Elizabeth said, “I want to pull your ponytail.” I said, “maybe I’ll let you when we’re done here.”

Do you think you're gonna win it?

Winning an Oscar is like winning the lottery. I’m in the wrong demographic. I will not discount the possibility, nor will I leave it hanging like a carrot in front of my nose. In a self-practice of Quantum Physics - I inhale all good and bad in the world and release in an exhale to the world what I want from all of that. If an Oscar materializes out of my efforts in art. So be it. Stay Tuned.

Who's your biggest fan?

My parents, of course. They introduced me to music and performing arts. They are always supportive and encouraging. I’m so grateful for having such amazing and talented parents. 

What brings you inspiration the most?

Pretty much everything that happens around inspires me especially nature. There’s so much beauty in the world! I love hiking, traveling and experience new things, meeting new people, listen to their stories, learn something new…

Which actor or director would you like to work with?

It’s not easy to say. There are so many outstanding and brilliant actors and directors that I would love to work with. If I had to choose one, it would be Leonardo DiCaprio. He’s an extremely talented, highly intelligent (speaking of emotional intelligence) and deep human being that brought so much to entertainment industry and to the entire world saving oceans and the ecology of this planet. 

Have you ever seen a film that was better than the book?

Not easy to answer this as I’m not so much a reader. I rather prefer to watch a movie or listen to a story. 

What's the movie that taught you the most?

“The Pianist” staring Adrien Brody by Roman Polanski and Ronald Harwood. I’m not sure what it taught me exactly, but this is the movie that impacted me more than any other movie. It’s based on true story of Holocaust survivor Wladyslaw Szpilman. 

I remember a moment when he was found by a German soldier who didn’t kill him because he was touched by the music Wladyslaw played and was amazed with his musical talent and beautiful soul. 

 I guess it shows that every human being has a HUMAN part inside…, and that every person has a story worthy of a book or a movie. 

About your artistic career, have you ever had the desire to quit everything?

Actually, I have quit several times, but life brought me back in some mysterious ways. Every time when I quit, something would happen: I meet someone that would remind me about my creative path, or I hear a story that inspires me, or some of my fans would ask about upcoming projects, or simply my inner voice would push me back to creativity. 

On set what excites you the most?

There’s so much energy and fun on set! I get carried away by a process and forget about time. It’s so great to interact with people and create together! Often, ideas pop out of nowhere right on set, and add spice into an entire production! I really love the process! 

And what scares you the most?

Nothing ever scares me when it comes to creativity. When I have an idea, I get so excited! I focus on it, dream about it, sleep with it, live with it 24/7. My family calls me “a crazy scientist” at these moments. On set, I’m in a creative mode. There’s no place for fear, because I am in love with what I do. Love is an antagonist of fear.

What's your next project?

I’m working on a new EDM song and a music video called “Dreams Come True”. This is very positive, romantic and heartwarming song. I plan to release it by end of summer. Super excited about the process. 

You can steal the career of an artist you really admire, who do you choose?

No one. I’m pretty much happy with my life and strongly believe that everyone has unique talents and unique ways to express them. Everyone has own path, and I prefer to walk mine. If I would be someone else, who will be me than? I like to be who I am and I appreciate everything that life presents me with. 

An actor/director/screenplayer is made of....

An actor/director/screenplayer and any artist is made of dreams, deep perspectives of life, out of a box thinking, love, empathy, high emotional intelligence, desire to understand this world, complex thinking, seeing beyond what’s on a surface and strong desire to create. 

For you Cinema is....

For me Cinema is a playground for creative souls. It’s like a world of mirrors. Each mirror is a reflection of the internal world of its creators and collective thinking. Same story told by different people will sound differently. When it’s told by a talented screenwriter, director, actor, camera crew, editor, designer, composer, sound engineer, visual effects engineer and other creative people, it becomes a gem. 

Do you think Black and white movies have a powerful impact?

I personally like colors. Our world is colorful.  Black and white movies were made when people didn’t have other options. If a director tries to recreate old times or to add some dramatic feel to a film, I think black and white is perfect especially for documentaries. 

Have you ever dreamed of winning an Oscar?

I think every artist dreams about it. This is one of the highest levels of artistic work recognition. 

Do you think you're gonna win it?

I create, grow as an artist, enjoy my process and then will see where it brings me

For you a Film is...

For me, a film is a medium of artistic expression that has the unique ability to entertain, inspire, provoke thought, and evoke emotions. It's a powerful way to communicate stories, ideas, and perspectives.

What do you feel when you're acting/directing/writing?

When I'm acting, directing, or writing, I feel a profound sense of purpose and fulfillment. It's a blend of excitement, creativity, and at times, the challenge of bringing a vision to life.

You can go to the Movies with an actor/director/screenplayer that you

love. What kind of movie do you choose and with who you're gonna whatch it?

If I could go to the movies with a filmmaker I admire, I would choose a thought-provoking and visually stunning film, perhaps a classic like "Cinema Paradiso," and I'd watch it with Martin Scorsese.

Audrey Hepburn used to say “Nothing is Impossible”, what do you think

about it?

I wholeheartedly agree with Audrey Hepburn's sentiment. Believing that nothing is impossible is a mindset that empowers us to overcome obstacles and achieve our goals.

Can you live just of your passion?

Living solely with my passion is something I've always aspired to do. It's what gives life meaning and fulfillment.

What's more important talent or luck?

Talent and luck both play significant roles in a filmmaker's career. Talent provides the foundation, but luck can open doors and create opportunities. Success often results from the intersection of both.

You must go to a desert island but you can bring with you just one movie...

If I could bring just one movie to a desert island, it would be "The Shawshank Redemption" for its timeless themes of hope, resilience, and the human spirit.

Have you ever accepted a part/ a movie to direct/ a script to write even

if you didn't like the project?

Yes, there have been times when I accepted a project even if I didn't fully resonate with it. Sometimes, the challenge lies in finding a way to make the project meaningful and impactful.

What's the best compliment you have received about your Job?

The best compliment I've received about my work was when someone told me that my film made them see the world in a new and beautiful way.

Are you satisfied about your career?

I am grateful for the career I've had so far, but I always strive for more and look forward to new challenges and opportunities.

Do you have a good luck charm?

My good luck charm is a small medal that my wife gave me when I started my filmmaking journey. It reminds me of her unwavering support and belief in me.

 Which is the worst moment on set ?

The worst moment on set is when technical or logistical issues disrupt the flow of creativity and production. It's a test of patience and problem-solving skills.

How do you feel when a job you've been part of it's ending?

When a job I've been part of is ending, I feel a mixture of nostalgia and satisfaction. It's like closing a chapter on a creative journey, but also knowing that new adventures await.

Have you ever lied to get a part/job?

No, I've never lied to get a part or job. Honesty and authenticity are essential values in the industry.

If you should win an Oscar your first taught would go to…

If I were to win an Oscar, my first thought would go to my family and to all the people who have supported and believed in me throughout my career. It would be a moment of gratitude and reflection on the collaborative nature of filmmaking.

Did anyone ever tell you weren't good enough?

No, it's not something I've been told directly. But I have received criticism when I asked for it. Or when in my childhood I painted and drew every day, and my father corrected me if I had drawn the perspective incorrectly.

How can you stay focused on your goal?

I've learned that you don't give up until you finish a project. And I find focus by constantly investigating whether the scene or the story can be made simpler and clearer. It also keeps me going, to stay curious.

Have you ever had a breakdown because of your Job?

No, I haven't tried that yet. I belong to a privileged class that works with what I want. I am not wealthy, but I take my work very seriously and it is my destiny to do my job as well as possible so that I do not waste the audience's time. There is simply no room or any opportunity to go down because of my work. I cannot allow myself or those I work with to do that.

Talent is a blessing or a curse?

It depends on how you manage it. Talent is good to have, but the most important thing is to keep working. The solution is always to work hard and sometimes talent, if you have some, can do more harm than good. Often talent makes you lazy in an odd way.

What would you like to improve about yourself a filmmaker?

I wish I was better at fundraising and that I had more hours in the day. If it were possible, it would look very different.

What's the worst critic you have received?

Unfortunately, I have yet to experience criticism that knocked me out. Nor have I received such bad criticism that I can remember that it has done anything to me. It will probably come one day. It should be welcome if it is factual and accurate and important.

If you weren't an actor/director/screenplayer what would you like to be?

I am also a painter. It is my primary occupation. For many years I have drawn storyboards for the film industry, created posters, books and exhibitions. The Captain's Heart is actually my debut film and I regard my role as a filmmaker as something that came out of the blue - as a great necessary personal and artistic work that could only be told as a film. It took me 18 years to create this film, but it has also become the way I wanted it to be. I am a self-taught film director.

If Cinema was a color what would it be?

It would probably be both blue and red. But the question is very simplistic and a bit frivolous, I think :-)

A day without a movie is...

It is a day when you can, for example, paint or read a book. Books are the prerequisite for creating good films.

If someone offered you to play/direct/write in/a movie that you despice 

but that for sure will make you rich and famous...would you accept the job?

No, I don't fall for superficial offers. I want to be challenged, but life is short and you have to carefully assess what you want to spend your time on. I've compromised a few times in my life, but it's unhealthy and it ends up breaking you down.

What's your greatest ambition?

To live long enough for me to be able to do the projects I have to do.

What's your biggest fear?

Losing my mind and curiosity.

Does music helps you to play/direct, write?

In the past, I didn't use or believe so much in music as part of the inspiration, but today I know that helps to get in the right mood. I'm more of the type that believes in hard work and persevering until a solution is found.

You have the chance to make a Silent movie, what's your message to the audience?

I don't have any messages for my audience. I strive to write and direct a good story. And good stories always have something important to convey. If I were to create a Silent Movie, it would not be driven by your question, but only because it, in itself, had something important at heart.

 Share your speech if you should win an Oscar.....

Winning an Oscar is no longer important. That prize has lost its value between the big questions in the work of creating important films. The Oscar has now become part of wokeism and has lost its importance as an important and decisive award. The Oscar belonged to old Hollywood, which no longer exists.

For you a Film is...

Life, and at times, an escape from it.

What do you feel when you're directing\writing?

Anxiously calm, if that's possible (laughs). A sort of duck syndrome effect. 

You can go to the Movies with an actor/director/screenplayer that you

love. What kind of movie do you choose and with who you're gonna whatch it?

Spike Lee, and we would watch Malcolm X. I would annoy him with a thousand questions about his own movie.

Audrey Hepburn used to say “Nothing is Impossible”, what do you think

about it?

It's true, my family is a testament to that. Faith and hard work will take you further than you expect.

Can you live just off your passion?

Absolutely. If you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life.

What's more important talent or luck?

Preparation.

You must go to a desert island but you can bring with you just one movie...

Rocky

Have you ever accepted a part/ a movie to direct/ a script to write even

if you didn't like the project?

In the beginning of my career, I took projects I was less passionate about. But today, absolutely not. 

What's the best compliment you have received about your Job?

I can tell, you were born to do this.

Are you satisfied about your career?

I'm like the growth I make day to day in my career, learning, then doing. But satisfied, not yet. I want more.

Do you have a good luck charm?

Prayer

Which is the worst moment on set ?

When your cast or crew don't believe in the vision you have.

How do you feel when a job you've been part of it's ending?

Excited. Now we get to edit. Most of the magic happens in the editing room.

Have you ever lied to get a job?

No

If you should win an Oscar your first taught would go to…

My family. They never gave up on me and let me use the family camcorder to shoot my first short films. Then I'd thank me for never giving up. I'd also thank those who doubted me because they added fuel to my fire.

Who's your biggest fan?

I wish I could say it was my wife. I know she’s my biggest supporter but it’s pretty dicey getting her to go to one of my shows or readings or what-have-you. I think it’s my dog, Sneaky Tiki the Freaky-Deaky Land Manatee of Love. She is always very excited to see me, to hear my do my stories and if allowed, would go with me to every performance.

What brings you inspiration the most?

Currently, a good deal of my inspiration comes from the weekly workshops I run for Active Voice Productions (http://activevoiceproductions.com/workshops). As I write this, I realize that in those sessions as well as in the private coaching sessions (http://activevoiceproductions.com/coaching) we work with the same structures and mind-setting technique that I used when I ran martial arts classes, and that I used to find a great deal of literary and creative inspiration in the martial arts training. Also – and this may sound odd to some people, I think – but I find that every professional gig I get, no matter how mundane, gets some of my gears turning and leads me to my next spec piece, or my next creative endeavor.

Which actor or director would you like to work with?

I want to put Paul Provenza and Kate Orsini on the screen together and am currently building a microbudget script out for that precise purpose.

Have you ever seen a film that was better than the book?

I think any film version of Moby Dick is better than the book. The book bores me silly. The film versions would too if any of them suddenly devolved into lengthy edutainment pieces on the romanticization and minutiae of the whaling industry only to justify a story of interspecies brutality. At least on film there’s cool stuff to watch sometimes.

What's the movie that taught you the most?

William Forsyth’s Local Hero, my all time favorite film, taught me how small a film can be. In terms of visual dynamics and set-pieces, if we are willing to really indulge a great love for the characters and their world, we can allow conflict to come organically and without the overbearing hand of writerly ambition.

About your artistic career, have you ever had the desire to quit everything?

Occasionally, when I’ve been dead broke at the same moment that some particularly painful professional body-blow threw me off balance, I’ve entertained fantasies, but suicide is never considered the right answer. Oh. Wait. Is that not what you meant by ‘quit everything?’ Then no.

On set what excites you the most?

When I see two actors find the rhythm and the life of a scene in a usable two-shot so that the performances, the text and the technical execution capture a moment of shared singular creativity I feel myself starting to do a happy dance even before I call the ‘cut.’ Also, the single, clean take of the close-up monologue makes me happy. When I know that what we’ve captured will get the laugh. That excites the hell out of me.

And what scares you the most ?

A DP sighing after I say, “We’ve got it, moving on,” or a sound man shouting, “Hang on,” after the take I loved. Also, moths. I don’t know why. They freak me right out.

What's your next project?

Right now the first film I shot, pre-covid, long-mothballed comes close to finishing. The re-edit gives me hope that it might work. I abandoned it thinking it utterly unsalvageable. After a couple of years away from it, I looked at the footage again and found some solutions. I’ve got picture lock and now we’re doing sound passes. That should hit festivals and competitions by end of year.

The new solo show THINKING ALLOWED takes me back on the road as a performer as I gear up for Edinburgh in summer of ’24 and a shoot of that piece as a special. Then, I start book tour for Merlyn’s Mistake, the new novel (Danu Books, dropping in hardcover, paperback and audiobook, Sept. 30, 2024.

You can steal the career of an artist you really admire, who do you choose?

Dean Devlin. Or David Sedaris. Crap. No. I’d screw up everything good about what they do. I’m okay here in my own career, I think.

An actor/director/screenplayer is made of....

Anybody with the creative spirit and the impulse to express ideas unsuited to simple conversational language will likely find his/her/their way to the arts. To be involved in the over-time collaboration of making a film (or a play or any other production) one must also have the long-term sustenance of focused energy combined with the ability to work with others. A painter must maintain focus until the canvas is finished. He need not complete that task while having committee meetings, each brush, palate depression and the canvas puller herself at every stage, as well as discussions with each figure within the painting, each of which has concerns about its own appearance. It’s a complicated thing to do vulnerable artistic work in a densely populated setting, surrounded by sensitive artists as well as expert technicians, all of whom have opinions, concerns and work ethics of their own.

An actor/director/screenplayer is made of....

Anybody with the creative spirit and the impulse to express ideas unsuited to simple conversational language will likely find his/her/their way to the arts. To be involved in the over-time collaboration of making a film (or a play or any other production) one must also have the long-term sustenance of focused energy combined with the ability to work with others. A painter must maintain focus until the canvas is finished. He need not complete that task while having committee meetings, each brush, palate depression and the canvas puller herself at every stage, as well as discussions with each figure within the painting, each of which has concerns about its own appearance. It’s a complicated thing to do vulnerable artistic work in a densely populated setting, surrounded by sensitive artists as well as expert technicians, all of whom have opinions, concerns and work ethics of their own.

For you Cinema is....

For me Cinema is the word that really takes in BIG films, the ones that belong on the big screen first and foremost. Cinema implies size of image, and a depth of field, literally and metaphorically. The pictures in my mind when I think of Cinema focus or blur into great distances and the human stories reach to great depths. I think of Reds, of Lawrence of Arabia when I thing of Cinema.

My little films feel less like capital-C Cinema than like movies or, in the case of LOCKDOWN 2o2o, like experimental narrative video projects. It was shot on ZOOM conference platform as a web series called Corona Dialogues and then segments turned into the film after the fact. ‘CINEMA’ as such carries a sense of grandeur and, as such, a level of budgeting. LOCKDOWN 2o2o should really never be shown on a big screen. I saw it projected for a film festival here in L.A. and it was great to hear people in a room laughing at the jokes and responding as a crowd to the emotional beats but it really belongs in the world of smaller screens, streamed for convenience.

Do you think Black and white movies have a powerful impact?

I think some Black and White movies have a powerful impact. Of course, early film was all black and white and nobody would argue that films had no impact until color emerged. Some auteurs of the sixties and seventies used black and white for effect when color was available. Truffaut, Renoir, Antonioni and Woody Allen all played with black and white in feature filmmaking, each taking pains to shoot with an awareness of the lighting requirements, the effects on depth perception and so on. Student filmmakers and independent directors often use black and white as a way of shorthanding a sense of ‘importance’ about the work without doing the homework of figuring out how to properly shoot for black and white to have its maximum impact. In those cases, I’d say shoot in the latest, best resolution in a natural color saturation and work on your story-telling. Then, when one have a grasp on telling story through image, action and word, perhaps find a story that demands the effect of black and white – whether to establish a particular tone, to showcase particular types of cinematography, or to set a time frame on the work through imitation of obsolete shooting equipment and technique – and the used of black and white will add to the film’s impact. I certainly don’t think that a film’s impact is inherently increased through desaturation.

Have you ever dreamed of winning an Oscar?

Oh, sure. When I studied acting in college, I dreamed of that. Now, I dream of actors winning Oscars with my words or in my films. I don’t think my work really appeals to enough people for the kind of mainstream recognition that earns a creator/filmmaker an Oscar.

Do you think you're gonna win it?

Honestly, at this point the goal is to find enough success with the films that I can properly pay all the people who help me make them. Then the goal is to make enough with each one to fully finance the next, slightly larger one. I genuinely don’t see myself making anything big-time enough to hit that ceremony for a long time yet. That is not to say that with every project I make, with every festival selection and award there is not an egotistical fantasy that the piece will find sudden recognition and my star will rise glittering in the eyes of Hollywood entertainment machine with rights of all my books selling suddenly, adaptations on the table and eventual maquettes at the ends of step-n-repeat red carpets.

Did anyone ever tell you weren't good enough?

Constantly. When you start doing your own things, you only meet critics at first. Basically, everyone always knows better. That's not only the case in film, but especially in the literary scene. There's a long way to go before you even reach an audience. 

How can you stay focused on your goal?

It depends on how much you want something and how much you are willing to give for it. When other things become more important, many people prefer to take the easy way out, because making a film costs a lot of energy and time. If you really want something for a long time and are prepared to give everything, then you stay focused. It is not difficult then.

Have you ever had a breakdown because of your job?

No. I only had a difficult phase at the beginning in Berlin, when I always had gaps between projects and that didn't do me any good. Sitting around, waiting and doing nothing is not for me. If I'm too exhausted, I sleep for two days and then I'm fine again.

Talent is a blessing or a curse?

I would say both. Having talent is just wonderful if you’re able to draw from it. But if you can't live it, it becomes a curse. It's unbearable when you feel you can do it but you can't show it or you don't get the opportunity. But when you do get the opportunity and you succeed with your talent and get recognition, it's wonderful. 

What would you like to improve about yourself as an actor/director/screenplayer?

Over the years I have become more and more involved in the technical side of things, editing trailers for film festivals, doing camera work. I would like to get more involved in animation if I had the time.

What's the worst critic you have received?

The worst criticism was in academia for my PhD defence. I defended digitally in Corona times, there was no other way. Basically, they couldn't think of any clever criticism, but they didn't want to give me the top grade either. So they said that they could only connect via mobile phone and that the screen on the mobile phone was too small to read my PowerPoint presentation, but that they didn't feel like connecting via computer either. That was the only criticism for which I didn't get a top grade, and since it had nothing to do with the content of my dissertation whatsoever, this criticism and the grade hurt me very much. My doctoral supervisor had nothing to do with it, I am infinitely grateful to him.

If you weren't an actor/director/screenplayer what would you like to be? 

I am basically a writer first and foremost. I have also written books. That is my first deepest passion. Then I am also a scientist

If Cinema was a colour what would it be?

Rainbow colours

A day without a movie is...

Also a good day. It's great to switch off and do something else.

If someone offered you to play/direct/write in/a movie that you despise but that for sure will make you rich and famous...would you accept the job?

Not an easy question. In the past I would have turned it down, today I might accept and try to make the best of it. I have also turned down several projects. It would depend on how much I disliked the job and whether I could live with it.

What's your greatest ambition?

I want to touch people with my art and stay in their minds and hearts for a while.

What's your biggest fear?

Not being able to make art any more. That would be really unthinkable.

Does music help you to play/direct, write?

Sometimes yes, sometimes no. It depends on my private mood and it varies a lot.

You have the chance to make a Silent movie, what's your message to the audience?

FINDINGS is a silent film. It is about a woman who emancipates herself from her social structures but then ends up on the outside of society. So the question is how is emancipation possible without becoming an outsider, without losing the home that simply no longer fits. What new social structures can be found or created? Pictures often have a very clear message, often no words are needed at all.